Jaysun's Journal

Independent Baptist

Boyfriend Application


Boyfriend Application

After jokingly telling a young lady at our church her next boyfriend would have to fill out an application I realized it wasn’t really a bad idea. Here are the questions I have compiled so far.

Preliminary Information:

Name _____________

Date of birth __/__/____

Place of birth: Country ______ State_____________ City ___________

Mother’s name ____________________

Fathers name _____________________

E-mail address _________________________________

Phone number __________________

Driver’s License Number ____________________

Please Answer “Yes” or “No” In The Spaces Provided.

1. ____Are you a Christian?

2. ____ 1Corinthians 7:1 says, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” Do you believe the Lord really expects you to keep your hands off a woman until you get married?

3. ____How often do you attend services?

a. Once a week

b. Twice a week

c. Three times a week

d. More

4. ____Do you smoke tobacco?

5. How fast can you run

a. 40 yards ______sec.

b. Two miles ____min.

6. ____Do you chew tobacco?

7. What is your blood type:_______

8. ____Other than a speeding ticket have you ever been convicted of a crime? (If yes, please explain and give dates.)

9. ____To your knowledge do you have any STDs?

10. ____Do you have any tattoos? (If yes tell how many, where, and what kind they are.)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

11. ____Do you have any piercings? (If yes tell how many, where, and what kind they are.)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

12. ____Have you sinned since you got saved?

13. ____Do you have a valid driver’s license?

14. In 50 words or less, describe what “Don’t ever, ever, touch this girl” means to you.

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

15. ____Do you own a vehicle? (If so give the make and model and list at least four of the preset stations your radio is tuned to.)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

16. ____If the need arose could you take your Bible and lead a person to Christ right now? (If so list some of the Bible verses you might use.)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

17. ____Have you consume any alcoholic beverages in the last six months? (If so tell when, where, and how much.)

18. ____Have you taken any medication in the last six months that was not prescribed to you? (If so tell when where and how much.)

19. ____Did Jesus make alcoholic wine?

20. ____Have you smoked marijuana in the past six months?

21. ____Have you, other than by accident, ever hit a woman?

22. ____Would you hit a larger woman if she attacked your girlfriend and you were unable to restrain her otherwise?

23. ____Have you ever been in a physical altercation (a fight) with another man? (If so how many times)

24. ____Do you know CPR?

25. ____Have you ever led anyone to the Lord?

26. ____Do you have any gospel tracts on you right now?

27. ____Do you have any children?

28. ____ Are you a member of any secret society such as the Masons, Shriners, skull and bones, etc?

29. ____Have you ever been married?

30. ____Have you ever been engaged?

31. ____Have you been scripturally baptized?

32. ____Have you ever been accused of rape?

33. ____Are your biological parents still alive?

34. ____Are they married?

35. ____Do you work or go to school? (If yes tell where, for how long, and briefly describe your schedule)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

36. How much cash do you have on you right now? _________________

37. What is the longest you’ve ever held a job and where was that?

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

38. Other than John 3:16 write out a verse of Scripture from memory.

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

39. Write out another verse from memory.

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

40. When did you get saved? __________________________

41. Complete the following sentences:

a. If I were to be shot, the last place I would want to be shot is in the _________

b. If I were to be beaten, the last bone I would want to be broken is ___________

c. The one thing I hope this application does not ask is ______________________

d. In the unfortunate event of my untimely death, I would like my ashes scattered

____________________________________________________

e. My greatest fear is _____________________________________

42. What do you want to be if you grow up? _________________________________

43. Where did you get saved? __________________________

44. Have you ever been fingerprinted? Yes ____ No _____

45. What church do you attend? __________________________

46. Are you a member of that church (if not, please give the name of the church you are a member of) Yes ____ No _____

47. What is the longest relationship you’ve ever been in? _____________________

48. How many times have you been baptized? __________________________

49. Did you get baptized before or after you got saved? __________________________

50. What is your pastor’s name? ___________________

51. (Other than playing Call of Duty) List some of your hobbies:

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

52. Do you have any identifying marks? (Birthmarks, scars, tattoos etc.) Yes ____ No _____ (if yes please explain and give locations)

53. My dentist is ______________________ City ______________ State _______

I hereby swear that all the information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge.

Signed ____________________________________ Date __/__/____

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 years for processing.

July 23, 2012 Posted by | Guidance, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Jokes About Children


Kids

 

 

Homework

“Dad,” said Little Johnny, “I’m late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?”
The father said irately, “Son, it just wouldn’t be right.” “That’s okay,” replied Little Johnny, “but you could at least give it a try, couldn’t you?”

 

Frogs

Frank Pittman told of a conversation he had with his grandson.

Grandson: “Paw Paw, would you make a noise like a frog?”

Grandpa: “Why?

Grandson: “Cause grandma said when you croak we get to go to Disney Land!”

 

Shriners

Son:”Dad, what’s a Shriner?”

Dad:”It’s a drunk Mason son.”

 

An Honest Question

Ada LeMaster of Spartanburg says she and her husband, Jim, laughed until their sides were splitting after receiving a bit of humor from their daughter. “Dear Lord,” the preacher began his sermon, “without you, we are but dust…” He would have continued, but at that moment a very obedient little girl leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill lit­tle girl voice, “Mommy, what is butt dust?” Church was pretty much over at that point.[1]

 

Mom Like Lot’s Wife

The Sunday School teacher was de­scribing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jimmy interrupted. “My Mommy looked back once while she was DRIVING,” he announced trium­phantly, “and she turned into a telephone pole!”

 

You Must Be Proud

Two boys were trying to outdo each other. The first said, “My uncle is a doctor. I can be sick for nothing.” The second youngster said, “Big deal! My uncle is a preacher. I can be good for nothing.”

 

 

Alabama Vasectomy

An Alabama couple, both bona fide rednecks, had 9 children.  They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband ”fixed.’   The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision–why after nine children, would they choose to do this.  The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn’t want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

 

 

Another Preacher’s Kid

The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed again and the congregation approved again. Several years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the increasing expense. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the minister. Finally, the minister stood and shouted out, “Having children is an Act of God!”An older man in the back stood and shouted back, “Rain and snow are Acts of God, too, and we wear rubbers for them!”

 

 

 


[1] The Stroller 3/17/06

October 27, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment