Jaysun's Journal

Independent Baptist

Boyfriend Application


Boyfriend Application

After jokingly telling a young lady at our church her next boyfriend would have to fill out an application I realized it wasn’t really a bad idea. Here are the questions I have compiled so far.

Preliminary Information:

Name _____________

Date of birth __/__/____

Place of birth: Country ______ State_____________ City ___________

Mother’s name ____________________

Fathers name _____________________

E-mail address _________________________________

Phone number __________________

Driver’s License Number ____________________

Please Answer “Yes” or “No” In The Spaces Provided.

1. ____Are you a Christian?

2. ____ 1Corinthians 7:1 says, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” Do you believe the Lord really expects you to keep your hands off a woman until you get married?

3. ____How often do you attend services?

a. Once a week

b. Twice a week

c. Three times a week

d. More

4. ____Do you smoke tobacco?

5. How fast can you run

a. 40 yards ______sec.

b. Two miles ____min.

6. ____Do you chew tobacco?

7. What is your blood type:_______

8. ____Other than a speeding ticket have you ever been convicted of a crime? (If yes, please explain and give dates.)

9. ____To your knowledge do you have any STDs?

10. ____Do you have any tattoos? (If yes tell how many, where, and what kind they are.)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

11. ____Do you have any piercings? (If yes tell how many, where, and what kind they are.)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

12. ____Have you sinned since you got saved?

13. ____Do you have a valid driver’s license?

14. In 50 words or less, describe what “Don’t ever, ever, touch this girl” means to you.

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

15. ____Do you own a vehicle? (If so give the make and model and list at least four of the preset stations your radio is tuned to.)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

16. ____If the need arose could you take your Bible and lead a person to Christ right now? (If so list some of the Bible verses you might use.)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

17. ____Have you consume any alcoholic beverages in the last six months? (If so tell when, where, and how much.)

18. ____Have you taken any medication in the last six months that was not prescribed to you? (If so tell when where and how much.)

19. ____Did Jesus make alcoholic wine?

20. ____Have you smoked marijuana in the past six months?

21. ____Have you, other than by accident, ever hit a woman?

22. ____Would you hit a larger woman if she attacked your girlfriend and you were unable to restrain her otherwise?

23. ____Have you ever been in a physical altercation (a fight) with another man? (If so how many times)

24. ____Do you know CPR?

25. ____Have you ever led anyone to the Lord?

26. ____Do you have any gospel tracts on you right now?

27. ____Do you have any children?

28. ____ Are you a member of any secret society such as the Masons, Shriners, skull and bones, etc?

29. ____Have you ever been married?

30. ____Have you ever been engaged?

31. ____Have you been scripturally baptized?

32. ____Have you ever been accused of rape?

33. ____Are your biological parents still alive?

34. ____Are they married?

35. ____Do you work or go to school? (If yes tell where, for how long, and briefly describe your schedule)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

36. How much cash do you have on you right now? _________________

37. What is the longest you’ve ever held a job and where was that?

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

38. Other than John 3:16 write out a verse of Scripture from memory.

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

39. Write out another verse from memory.

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

40. When did you get saved? __________________________

41. Complete the following sentences:

a. If I were to be shot, the last place I would want to be shot is in the _________

b. If I were to be beaten, the last bone I would want to be broken is ___________

c. The one thing I hope this application does not ask is ______________________

d. In the unfortunate event of my untimely death, I would like my ashes scattered

____________________________________________________

e. My greatest fear is _____________________________________

42. What do you want to be if you grow up? _________________________________

43. Where did you get saved? __________________________

44. Have you ever been fingerprinted? Yes ____ No _____

45. What church do you attend? __________________________

46. Are you a member of that church (if not, please give the name of the church you are a member of) Yes ____ No _____

47. What is the longest relationship you’ve ever been in? _____________________

48. How many times have you been baptized? __________________________

49. Did you get baptized before or after you got saved? __________________________

50. What is your pastor’s name? ___________________

51. (Other than playing Call of Duty) List some of your hobbies:

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

52. Do you have any identifying marks? (Birthmarks, scars, tattoos etc.) Yes ____ No _____ (if yes please explain and give locations)

53. My dentist is ______________________ City ______________ State _______

I hereby swear that all the information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge.

Signed ____________________________________ Date __/__/____

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 years for processing.

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July 23, 2012 Posted by | Guidance, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Marital Humor


marriedman

Quips:

  • ·    Married men usually live longer but they’re much more willing to die.
  • ·    Men marry because they’re tired, women because they’re curious, both are disappointed.
  • ·    One guy said, “I got a gun for my wife…great trade huh?”
  • ·    A man is not complete until he is married and then he’s finished.
  • ·    A buddy of mine was so poor that he got married just for the rice!
  • ·    One guy said he made an angel she was always harping on something.

Baker’s Mix-up.
A couple went to the local deli to order a wedding cake for the coming week. That morning the bride had taken her devotions from the portion of Scripture that says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear….” 1Jo 4:18 She was so struck by the verse she felt it was the perfect will of God to have it on her wedding cake! So she left instructions with the Baker to put 1John 4:18 on the wedding cake.
The Baker however, was not a saved man, nor was he familiar with the Scriptures! He mistakenly turned his Bible to the Gospel of John Chapter 4 and verse number 18. If you remember Jesus was here talking to the woman at the well when He said, “For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband…” John 4:18

How Many Times Have You Been Married?
Frank Pittman said he was walking through the nursing home one-day when a lady stopped him and said “You look like my fourth husband.” He said “Lady, just how many times have you been married?” She said “Three.”

Cold Feet – Warm Prospects
A young Christian girl was worried about her fiancé.
Girl: “Mom, I don’t think I should marry Bob!”
Mom: “Why honey?”
Girl: “He doesn’t believe in Hell!”
Mom: “Go ahead and marry him sweetheart.”
Girl: “Mom! How can you say that when he doesn’t believe in Hell?”
Mom: “Trust me, if he marries you he’ll believe in Hell!”

Grief Stricken
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his departed mother and started back for his car, parked on the cemetery road. His atten­tion was diverted to a man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity, and kept repeating, “Why did you die? Why did you die?”The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t want to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of hurt and pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? Your child? A parent? Who, may I ask, lies in that grave?” The mourner answered, “My wife’s first husband! Why did you die? Why did you die?”

What’d You Say?
My grandma would get to fussing sometimes – well a lot of times and Grandpa had what he called his “wife switch!” He’d just reach up and turn his hearing aide off!

The Curse
An old man went to the wizard to ask him to remove a curse he had been living with for the past 40 years. “Maybe,” said the wizard, “but you’ll have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.” “That’s easy,” said the man. “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

Proof of Bad Eyesight
A fellow was drafted into the Army but claimed he should be exempted on account of his poor eyesight. He brought along his wife as proof.  Married men usually live longer but they’re much more willing to die.

Amazing
A couple was having dinner at their favorite restaurant when the wife noticed the husband staring at an obviously inebriated woman sitting alone at a nearby table. “Do you know her?” the wife asked. “Yes, and it’s so sad,” sighed the husband, “She’s my ex-wife. She started drinking after we divorced eight years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.” “My goodness,” said the wife. “Who would think that someone could go on celebrating that long?”

Preachers – The Old Goat
A young couple invited their parson for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.
“Goat,” the little boy replied.
“Goat?” replied the startled man of the cloth. “Are you sure about that?”
“Yep,” said the youngster. “I heard Pa say to Ma, ‘Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'”

January 12, 2009 Posted by | funny, humor | , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Jason



Be Sure To Check Out My New Books!

An IFB Production

homilnhumor

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* Coming Soon *

jonah1

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My Dad Teaching On Sin – Funny

Old Home Movie – Wallace Family

A Slideshow I Put Together For The Reome Family

November 15, 2008 Posted by | Addiction, Bible, Depression, funny, God, Jesus, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment