Jaysun's Journal

Independent Baptist

Dog Shoots Owner


Every dog has his day!

Dog Shoots Owner During Hunting Trip

CNN released this article:

 

Utah hunter shot by his dog.

 

The incident happened over the weekend during a duck-hunting in the Great Salt Lake near a bird refuge outside Brigham City, (Utah?) One of the men, a 46-year-old from Brigham City, got out of his boat and laid his 12-gauge shotgun across the bow of the vessel.

 

The dog got excited, was jumping around inside the boat and then it jumped on the gun. It went off, shooting the (man) in the buttocks,” Box Elder County Sheriff’s Deputy Kevin Potter told the Salt Lake City Tribune.

 

The man was apparently setting up decoys when the gun went off, said Potter. The man is expected to recover.

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December 2, 2011 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Praying For A New Tongue?


Praying For A New Tongue?

Most Folks Can’t Handle The One They’ve Got!

When a prophet named Balaam was headed somewhere the Lord didn’t want him to go God sent an angel to block his way.  The beast on which Balaam rode was apparently more sensitive to spiritual things than he was.  Because the animal kept turning out of the way to avoid the angel, Balaam became frustrated and started beating her.

And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?” (Num 22:28)

Notice first of all (1) something is speaking that shouldn’t be.  2Peter 2:16 says this “dumb (mute) ass” was speaking “with a man’s voice.”  This is not the 1st time you find an animal speaking in the Bible (the serpent spoke to Eve in the Garden) but this is interesting.  Notice also, Balaam’s ass was a ‘she’.  In the average charismatic church, I’d say, women do 90% of the tongues speaking.  Paul was dealing expressly with the gift of tongues when the Holy Ghost moved him to write:

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.” (1Co 14:34-35)

Paul knew it was the will of God for the “women to keep silence in the churches” when it came to the matter of tongues.   But Paul was also a realist.   He knew that people do not like being told what they can and can’t do.  Paul knew that later on liberal scholars would rise up out of the crevices of Hell and downplay what he had just written.  Accordingly, some argue that the prohibition against women speaking in tongues here in 1Corinthians 14 and the qualifications of a pastor in 1Timothy 3 are all just Paul’s “opinion.” Paul anticipated all of this and wrote verse 37 for everyone who tries to justify their charismatic grandma or one of their friends who happens to be a woman preacher. In an almost sarcastic manner, he says:

If any man think himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I write unto you are the commandments of the Lord.” (1Co 14:37) jimmy put the "swag" in swaggart

Paul knew many folks don’t care what the Bible says.  So he writes in verse 38: “But if any man be ignorant, let him be ignorant.” (1Co 14:38)

Secondly, (2) this unnatural behaviour didn’t appear strange to Balaam.  Any sane person would have found this event beyond bizarre.  But remember, Balaam is not right with God.  People who are out of fellowship with the Lord are frequently and strangely comfortable in unusual circumstances.  For instance, when Jonah was running from God, the Lord sent a storm that nearly destroyed the ship he was in. The heathen sailors were calling on every god they could think of!  (It’s just natural to pray when you’re going thru a storm.)  “…But Jonah was gone down into the sides of the ship; and he lay, and was fast asleep.” (Jon 1:5)  In his backslid condition Jonah seemed immune to his problematic surroundings.  If you have the slightest knowledge of the Bible you should know the Holy Ghost won’t make you act like a complete fool.  If you see nothing wrong with men and women foaming at the mouth and babbling on like idiots, then there’s something wrong with you (you’re spiritually retarded).

The Mosaic Law demanded that God’s people (the Jews) abstain from unclean meats. Many of the Jews continued to observe these dietary laws even after they were converted.  They did this more out of habit than necessity.  But, in their defense, there was no verse in the Old Testament that said, “After you become a Christian you can eat whatever you want.”  So in their minds, certain things like pork were still taboo.  When Gentiles started getting saved, because of their eating habits, many of the believing Jews were uncertain whether or not they should fellowship with them.  (It was hard for them to believe God would bless someone who ate bacon.)  On one occasion, because of this mindset, God revealed to the Jewish companions of Peter that He did indeed pour out His spirit upon Jew and Gentile alike.

While Peter yet spake these words, the Holy Ghost fell on all them which heard the word. And they of the circumcision which believed were astonished, as many as came with Peter, because that on the Gentiles also was poured out the gift of the Holy Ghost. For they heard them speak with tongues, and magnify God. Then answered Peter,” (Ac 10:44-46)

Again the Bible says they spoke with “tongues” (plural) and not with an “unknown tongue” (singular). Tongues were necessary since, as 1Cor 1:22 says, “The Jews require a sign.”  Until the New Testament scriptures were complete, the sign gifts were necessary for unbelieving Jews.  Mark 16:20 indicates the Apostles had been commissioned to confirm (authenticate, backup, or validate) the Gospel with signs.  The purpose of tongues was to confirm that God had indeed stretched out His saving arm to the Gentiles.

The word ‘tongue’ in Scripture refers to either: a language or an actual part of the body known as the tongue.  As far as the Bible is concerned, the gift of tongues was the supernatural ability to speak in a language not previously learned. For instance if I was suddenly endowed by God with the ability to speak and understand Japanese, that would be similar to the gift on Pentecost.  1Corinthians 14 gives instruction concerning the utilization of this gift.   Many of these rules are violated and completely disregarded in charismatic circles.  However, the utter confusion, which “they” refer to as ‘speaking in tongues,’ is NOT that gift described in the Bible.  Tongues, such as in Acts 2 and 10, were known languages and not ecstatic, unintelligible, gibberish.

Some say that “speaking in tongues” is evidence of being filled with the Holy Ghost.  Some go even further, saying that you’re not even saved if you don’t speak in tongues.  I strongly disagree.  Take Jesus for example.  Can you think of anyone more sanctified and Holy than the Lord Jesus Christ?  None would ever accuse Him of not being Spirit filled.  Yet in my Bible, I never find a single instance where Jesus ever spoke in tongues.  If “tongues” is the evidence of having the “baptism of the Holy Ghost“, why did the Lord not leave us that example in His life as He did with water baptism and communion? Moving on…

For he that speaketh in an unknown tongue speaketh not unto men, but unto God: for no man understandeth him; howbeit in the spirit he speaketh mysteries.” (1Cor 4:2)

The word “spirit in this verse is lowercase.  It refers to our spirit and not God’s Holy Spirit. Notice, the word “unknown’ here is italicized, and the word ‘tongue’ is singular. ‘Unknown tongue’ refers to any language not understood by others.  We are told not to forbid people to speak with ‘tongues’ (plural) in 1Cor 14:39. However, the Bible does NOT say “Forbid not to speak in the unknown tongue” (singular) this is Bible Doctrine, not merely my opinion.

And as Forest Gump once said, “That’s all I got to say about that.”

January 11, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Heretics


Arnold Murray

More information will be forthcoming but suffice it to say that this man seriously deviates from orthodox Bible teaching.  I hate to use the word “orthodox” but it sounds more professional than saying the man teaches some “off-the-wall” stuff!

Benny Hinn

Come on people.  You’ll never see this guy at the Shriner’s Hospital healing kids.

Jose Luis Miranda De Jesus

June 14, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Jokes About Obama


Jokes About Obama

Barack Obama -vs- An Intelligent Little Girl

Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to Obama, “What would you like to talk about?

Oh, I don’t know,” said the Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.

“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?

Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know crap?

—————————-

President Obama decided to do one of his public addresses against the backdrop of an American farm, but the ceremony couldn’t get started because of all the flies buzzing around his head. Obama demanded to know why the flies wouldn’t leave, so the farmer explained to him, “Well, those are called circle flies. They always circle around the back end of horses.” Obama angrily replied, “Hey, are you saying that I’m a horse’s ass?” The farmer answered, “No Sir, Mister President. I would never call someone a horse’s ass. It’s hard to fool them flies though.”

—————————

Q. Why won’t Obama release his real birth certificate?

A. The ink isn’t dry yet.

Q. Why won’t Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. Hillary Clinton won’t give it back to him.
Q. Why won’t Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. He accidently smoked it.
Q. Why won’t Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It shows that he didn’t have a virgin birth.
Q. Why won’t Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It got shredded with his Rezko mortgage records.

Golden Oldie Obama Jokes

Q: What’s the problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes.

Q. What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A. Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.

Q Why is Oprah supporting Obama?
A She has a history of supporting frauds.

Q. What made Barack help a Chicago slumlord to victimize the poor?
A. The check.

Giving money and power to Barack Obama is like giving liquor and car keys to a teenage boy. (Tip o’ the hat to P. J. O’Rourke)

Q: Why are there so few real Barack Obama jokes?
A: Most of them are true stories.

Q. Why does Barack Obama support our servicemen?
A. He doesn’t.

Q. Why did Barack Obama decide to be a lawyer?
A. He didn’t want to have to work for a living.

Q. What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A. Deductible.

Q. Why did Barack Obama register to run for office as a Democrat?
A. The Communist Party doesn’t have enough voters.

Q. Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A. It stands between him and the First.

Q. Why won’t Barack Obama’s presidential jet be flight worthy?
A. It will only have a left wing.

Marie Antoinette said, “Let them eat cake.”
Barack Obama says, “Let them eat arugala.”

Robin Hood took from the rich and gave to the poor.
Barack Obama takes from the middle class and sticks it to the poor.

.

April 2, 2010 Posted by | funny, humor, Obama, politics, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Sermon Titles


Sermon Titles

  • The Party’s Over (1Kings 1:49)
  • When It’s Too Late To Run To The Altar (1Kings 2:28-34)
  • There’s Still Time To Run To The Altar (1Kings 1:50)
  • Shimei’s Last Ride (1Kings 2:40)
  • The Day The Price of Pork Went Up (Mark 5)
  • The Bad Samaritan (John 4)
  • Losing Your Rear End “…the hinder part was broken with the violence of the waves.” (Ac 27:41)
  • Dangerous Things Inside The Ark (ie. “woodpeckers”)
  • The Vermin on the Mount (1Kings 18)
  • Chinese Water Torture (Prov 27:15)
  • The Dry Heaves “…the fish…vomited out Jonah upon the dry land.” (Jon 2:10)
  • Mechanical Bull (Hosea 8:5)
  • Handicapped Christians “…brother that walketh disorderly…” (2Th 3:6)
  • The Dirt Will Come Out!  (Judges 3:22)
  • Mouth Rash “Be not rash with thy mouth…” (Eccl 5:2)

Feel free to leave a comment or your own sermon title below.  God bless.

March 30, 2010 Posted by | Bible, God, humor, preacher, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fags


Fags

“THOU SHALT NOT lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion. Defile not ye yourselves in any of these things: for in all these the nations are defiled which I cast out before you: And the land is defiled: therefore I do visit the iniquity thereof upon it, and the land itself vomiteth out her inhabitants.” Leviticus 18:22-25

asdfawsawseeee

G.A.Y. = "Got AIDS Yet?"

I believe the up and coming generation needs to know, that men of God hold these individuals in derision.  They need to know what a terrible abomination this is in the eyes of God.  I detest being around Sodomites; they make me uncomfortable.  I don’t like Chihuahuas.  I just don’t like anything sissy!

There are many slang terms used to indicate a sodomite: fag, queer, fairy, etc.  Webster’s 1828 Dictionary does not even contain the word ‘Homosexual’.  But it does define Sodomite as: (1) An inhabitant of Sodom or (2) One guilty of sodomy.  Since the term “sodomite” is used, even after Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed, definition one need not be considered.

Furthermore, sodomy is defined as ‘a crime against nature!’   Sodomy not only makes God sick, but Scripture implies that the land vomits at its very presence! “And the land is defiled: therefore I do visit the iniquity thereof upon it, and the land itself vomiteth out her inhabitants.” (Lev 18:25) Is it any wonder that California often convulses as would a man with upset stomach?  Why does the land vomit?  Because sodomy is a crime against nature!

When one attempts to defy the law of gravity by jumping off a cliff, they suffer the consequences.  When two men get together and try to do what only man and wife were designed to do, they too will suffer the consequences.

Whether or not AIDS is God’s judgment on the sin of homosexuality I do not know.  However, I am sure God is aware of the CDC’s recent statistics.  On table 22 of their website the following information is available.  Of white men with AIDS in the United States, it is estimated that 76% were men who have sex with men.  Furthermore, add that to the 10% of men who have sex with men and inject drugs.

In the Bible, we have God’s disclosure of His will.  Within the pages of Scripture we may peer into the mind of an Omnipotent God.  In the Bible we are warned, “Be not deceived!”  Could it be that some well-meaning ‘Christians’ are deceived?  A person is deceived when they see nothing wrong with two men getting married, or two women having sex.  Even with this sinful lifestyle becoming more and more tolerated, God still calls it an ‘abomination’ (Le 20:13).  Nevertheless, “God is not mocked!”

funny_signIs AIDS God’s judgment on the perverts of America?  Probably!  The reality that God has not already rained down fire and brimstone on our darling nation proves that He is a loving God, and not that he condones a tainted standard of living.

Alongside I-85, a billboard advocating tolerance of sodomy says, “Gay or straight…All…equal.” This is of course a reference to the Declaration of Independence.  However, it is interesting to note, they left out ‘created’ equal on their little sign!  While I would partially agree with our founding fathers that all men are created equal, I would argue that all men do not remain that way!

All men are born into sin.  You need not teach a baby to lie, it will learn on its own.  That is natural. Children must be brought up in the nurture and admonition of the lord, because sin comes naturally to all.  When an attractive yet scantily clothed woman walks by, a man’s ‘natural’ instinct is to look and lust after her.  That’s natural, but that doesn’t make it right!  Even if sodomites are ‘born that way,’ and even if they don’t have the slightest affection for the opposite sex; that still does not excuse what God calls an abomination!

Despite arguments to the contrary, the sin of sodomy is far from natural!  As mentioned before, Webster defines sodomy as a ‘crime against nature!’  Romans 1:26 refers to it as “That which is against nature.”  Vs. 27 says it’s an “…Error…” and “…Unseemly…” Vs. 28, Paul said these people “…do those things which are not convenient.” And, finally in Vs. 31 they’re “…without natural affection.”

In 2nd Kings 23:7, the Bible says Josiah “…Brake down the houses of the sodomites, that were by the house of the LORD…” – In Josiah’s time, the Sodomites had come out of the closet and settled down right beside the Church.  And today we see the same thing happening!  Perverts, no longer want merely to be left alone, they want to be accepted.  They’re not concerned with simply being tolerated anymore; they want us to embrace their perverted lifestyle.  I don’t care if they move in beside the parsonage and paint the house pink. I’ll point next door and tell my children, ‘Those people are wicked as Hell!’

You can’t show me a single instance where Jesus ever witnessed to a sodomite or a lesbian.  In all 66 books, God never sent the homosexuals a prophet.   But before you accuse me of being unloving: I have witnessed to several of them before.  I’m just saying that I’m not planning on going into “fag evangelism.”   Can you imagine setting up a rainbow-colored tent at all of the rest areas? I can’t fathom it but I do witness to them.  Have you ever witnessed to one?  By that I mean, have you ever showed them from the Scriptures that they’re at enmity with God and must needs repent or perish?  Have you ever done that for anybody?

November 6, 2009 Posted by | Bible, Death, funny, God, Guidance, humor, Jesus, politics, preacher, Religion, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Funny Sermon Titles


Funny Sermon Titles

  • The Day The Price of Pork Went Up (Mark 5)
  • The Bad Samaritan (John 4)
  • Losing Your Rear End “…the hinder part was broken with the violence of the waves.” (Ac 27:41)
  • Dangerous Things Inside The Ark (ie. “woodpeckers”)[1]
  • The Vermin on the Mount (1Kings 18)
  • Chinese Water Torture (Prov 27:15)
  • The Dry Heaves “…the fish…vomited out Jonah upon the dry land.” (Jon 2:10)
  • Mechanical Bull (Hosea 8:5)
  • Handicapped Christians “…brother that walketh disorderly…” (2Th 3:6)
  • The Dirt Will Come Out!  (Judges 3:22)
  • Mouth Rash “Be not rash with thy mouth…” (Eccl 5:2)

[1]Don Sessions mentioned “woodpeckers” then compared them to some hard headed Christians.  Woodpeckers also have unusually long tongues.

Leave Your Own Sermon Title

October 27, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Jokes About Children


Kids

 

 

Homework

“Dad,” said Little Johnny, “I’m late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?”
The father said irately, “Son, it just wouldn’t be right.” “That’s okay,” replied Little Johnny, “but you could at least give it a try, couldn’t you?”

 

Frogs

Frank Pittman told of a conversation he had with his grandson.

Grandson: “Paw Paw, would you make a noise like a frog?”

Grandpa: “Why?

Grandson: “Cause grandma said when you croak we get to go to Disney Land!”

 

Shriners

Son:”Dad, what’s a Shriner?”

Dad:”It’s a drunk Mason son.”

 

An Honest Question

Ada LeMaster of Spartanburg says she and her husband, Jim, laughed until their sides were splitting after receiving a bit of humor from their daughter. “Dear Lord,” the preacher began his sermon, “without you, we are but dust…” He would have continued, but at that moment a very obedient little girl leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill lit­tle girl voice, “Mommy, what is butt dust?” Church was pretty much over at that point.[1]

 

Mom Like Lot’s Wife

The Sunday School teacher was de­scribing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jimmy interrupted. “My Mommy looked back once while she was DRIVING,” he announced trium­phantly, “and she turned into a telephone pole!”

 

You Must Be Proud

Two boys were trying to outdo each other. The first said, “My uncle is a doctor. I can be sick for nothing.” The second youngster said, “Big deal! My uncle is a preacher. I can be good for nothing.”

 

 

Alabama Vasectomy

An Alabama couple, both bona fide rednecks, had 9 children.  They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband ”fixed.’   The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision–why after nine children, would they choose to do this.  The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn’t want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

 

 

Another Preacher’s Kid

The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed again and the congregation approved again. Several years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the increasing expense. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the minister. Finally, the minister stood and shouted out, “Having children is an Act of God!”An older man in the back stood and shouted back, “Rain and snow are Acts of God, too, and we wear rubbers for them!”

 

 

 


[1] The Stroller 3/17/06

October 27, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fighting Jokes


Fighting Jokes

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Quips

  • I didn’t say I knew how to fight.  I said I knew how to win.
  • He was a colorful fighter—black and blue and blood red.
  • “You said you could beat him hands down.” “He doesn’t want to keep his hands down!”
  • He fought like a baseball pitcher—at the end of the fight he had a no-hitter.
  • He was a crossword-puzzle fighter—he came into the ring vertically and left horizontally.
  • He once had a fight with a woman. He would have won if she hadn’t hit him back with her crutch!
  • He never bled after the third round. By that time he was all out of blood.
  • He bled so much, after his fight the Red Cross used to siphon up the canvas!
  • He has more belts than any other fighter— and all on his chin!

That’s Mean

He was so mean, when he called dial a prayer they told him to go to Hell.

Picking Your Battles

A bulldog can whip a skunk any day of the week…but it’s just not worth it.

No Contingency Plan?

A successful Irish boxer was converted and became a preacher. He hap­pened to be in a new town setting up his evangelistic tent when a couple of tough thugs noticed what he was doing. Knowing nothing of his background, they made a few insulting remarks. The Irishman merely turned and looked at them. Pressing his luck, one of the bullies took a swing and struck a glancing blow on one side of the ex-boxer’s face. He shook it off and said nothing as he stuck out his jaw. The fellow took another glancing blow on the other side. At that point the preacher swiftly took off his coat, rolled up his sleeves, and announced, “The Lord gave me no further instructions.” Whop![i]


[i] Swindoll, Charles R. Swindoll’s Ultimate Book of Illustrations and Quotes.

 

October 27, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Spiritual Guidance Illustrations


 

Spiritual Guidance

 

Knowing Where You’re Going

An evangelist told the story of a time when Albert Einstein was going on a train to an out-of-town engagement. The conductor stopped by to punch his ticket. The great scientist, preoccupied with his work, with great embarrassment rummaged through his coat pockets and briefcase to no avail. He could not find his ticket. The conductor said, “We all know who you are, Dr. Einstein. I’m sure you bought a ticket. Don’t worry about it. Everything is okay.” The conductor walked on down the aisle punching other tickets. Before he moved to the next car, he looked back and saw Dr. Einstein down on his hands and knees looking under his seat trying to find his ticket. He came back and gently said, “Dr. Einstein, please don’t worry about it. I know who you are.” Einstein looked up and said, “I too know who I am. What I don’t know is where I’m going!”[i]

Bound For Where?

Rob Yeomans of Pontesbury, England, bounced up and down trying to get more life into the choir’s rendering of “I Wonder Where I’m Bound.” The iron grid gave way under him and he vanished into the church’s central heating duct. [ii]



[i] Citation: Greg Asimakoupoulos, author and speaker, Naperville, Illinois; source: John A. Huffman Jr., pastor of St. Andrews Presbyterian Church, Newport Beach, California, from sermon “Resurrection Life” (June 23, 2000)

[ii] Paul Lee Tan

 

October 27, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment