Jaysun's Journal

Independent Baptist

How To Get The Girl


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July 23, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Jokes About Obama


Jokes About Obama

Barack Obama -vs- An Intelligent Little Girl

Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to Obama, “What would you like to talk about?

Oh, I don’t know,” said the Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.

“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?

Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know crap?

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President Obama decided to do one of his public addresses against the backdrop of an American farm, but the ceremony couldn’t get started because of all the flies buzzing around his head. Obama demanded to know why the flies wouldn’t leave, so the farmer explained to him, “Well, those are called circle flies. They always circle around the back end of horses.” Obama angrily replied, “Hey, are you saying that I’m a horse’s ass?” The farmer answered, “No Sir, Mister President. I would never call someone a horse’s ass. It’s hard to fool them flies though.”

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Q. Why won’t Obama release his real birth certificate?

A. The ink isn’t dry yet.

Q. Why won’t Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. Hillary Clinton won’t give it back to him.
Q. Why won’t Obama release his real birth certificate?
A. He accidently smoked it.
Q. Why won’t Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It shows that he didn’t have a virgin birth.
Q. Why won’t Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It got shredded with his Rezko mortgage records.

Golden Oldie Obama Jokes

Q: What’s the problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes.

Q. What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A. Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.

Q Why is Oprah supporting Obama?
A She has a history of supporting frauds.

Q. What made Barack help a Chicago slumlord to victimize the poor?
A. The check.

Giving money and power to Barack Obama is like giving liquor and car keys to a teenage boy. (Tip o’ the hat to P. J. O’Rourke)

Q: Why are there so few real Barack Obama jokes?
A: Most of them are true stories.

Q. Why does Barack Obama support our servicemen?
A. He doesn’t.

Q. Why did Barack Obama decide to be a lawyer?
A. He didn’t want to have to work for a living.

Q. What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A. Deductible.

Q. Why did Barack Obama register to run for office as a Democrat?
A. The Communist Party doesn’t have enough voters.

Q. Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A. It stands between him and the First.

Q. Why won’t Barack Obama’s presidential jet be flight worthy?
A. It will only have a left wing.

Marie Antoinette said, “Let them eat cake.”
Barack Obama says, “Let them eat arugala.”

Robin Hood took from the rich and gave to the poor.
Barack Obama takes from the middle class and sticks it to the poor.

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April 2, 2010 Posted by | funny, humor, Obama, politics, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

“Where was God when my boy died?”


A year or two ago a young couple lost their two-month-old son. They had him in bed with them and one of them must have rolled over on him in the night because when they woke up in the morning their beautiful baby boy was dead. A pastor friend of mine and I went over to their house that night. You talk about heartache! The boy’s daddy, a young fella, kept wallowing in the floor saying “God is judging me – God is judging me!” The pastor was trying to show them some scriptures when the mother blurted out: “I just don’t see how there can be a God.”And before you criticize her, you just wait till you wake up beside your dead baby.

I  said “Ma’am my heart goes out to you – I won’t try to say I know what you’re going through because I don’t. But I was reading a story this afternoon about a lady who had lost her baby boy too. She went to her pastor and said “Where was God when my boy died?

He was stunned by the question like we all would be but he thought for a moment and said “Ma’am, God was in the same place He was when His Son died 2000 years ago.” And I’m telling you there’s a God in heaven that knows what it’s like to lose a baby boy. He knows what it’s like to lose a loved one and He can sympathize with your pain.

On top of that, I believe the grace of God takes care of little children and that baby’s in Heaven right now. And if mama and daddy are Christians – they might have to spend 40, 50, or even 60 years apart from their child and I know that sounds like such a long time. But looking back, 10,000 years from now, it won’t seem like that long at all.

November 22, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment