Jaysun's Journal

Independent Baptist

Boyfriend Application


Boyfriend Application

After jokingly telling a young lady at our church her next boyfriend would have to fill out an application I realized it wasn’t really a bad idea. Here are the questions I have compiled so far.

Preliminary Information:

Name _____________

Date of birth __/__/____

Place of birth: Country ______ State_____________ City ___________

Mother’s name ____________________

Fathers name _____________________

E-mail address _________________________________

Phone number __________________

Driver’s License Number ____________________

Please Answer “Yes” or “No” In The Spaces Provided.

1. ____Are you a Christian?

2. ____ 1Corinthians 7:1 says, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” Do you believe the Lord really expects you to keep your hands off a woman until you get married?

3. ____How often do you attend services?

a. Once a week

b. Twice a week

c. Three times a week

d. More

4. ____Do you smoke tobacco?

5. How fast can you run

a. 40 yards ______sec.

b. Two miles ____min.

6. ____Do you chew tobacco?

7. What is your blood type:_______

8. ____Other than a speeding ticket have you ever been convicted of a crime? (If yes, please explain and give dates.)

9. ____To your knowledge do you have any STDs?

10. ____Do you have any tattoos? (If yes tell how many, where, and what kind they are.)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

11. ____Do you have any piercings? (If yes tell how many, where, and what kind they are.)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

12. ____Have you sinned since you got saved?

13. ____Do you have a valid driver’s license?

14. In 50 words or less, describe what “Don’t ever, ever, touch this girl” means to you.

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

15. ____Do you own a vehicle? (If so give the make and model and list at least four of the preset stations your radio is tuned to.)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

16. ____If the need arose could you take your Bible and lead a person to Christ right now? (If so list some of the Bible verses you might use.)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

17. ____Have you consume any alcoholic beverages in the last six months? (If so tell when, where, and how much.)

18. ____Have you taken any medication in the last six months that was not prescribed to you? (If so tell when where and how much.)

19. ____Did Jesus make alcoholic wine?

20. ____Have you smoked marijuana in the past six months?

21. ____Have you, other than by accident, ever hit a woman?

22. ____Would you hit a larger woman if she attacked your girlfriend and you were unable to restrain her otherwise?

23. ____Have you ever been in a physical altercation (a fight) with another man? (If so how many times)

24. ____Do you know CPR?

25. ____Have you ever led anyone to the Lord?

26. ____Do you have any gospel tracts on you right now?

27. ____Do you have any children?

28. ____ Are you a member of any secret society such as the Masons, Shriners, skull and bones, etc?

29. ____Have you ever been married?

30. ____Have you ever been engaged?

31. ____Have you been scripturally baptized?

32. ____Have you ever been accused of rape?

33. ____Are your biological parents still alive?

34. ____Are they married?

35. ____Do you work or go to school? (If yes tell where, for how long, and briefly describe your schedule)

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

36. How much cash do you have on you right now? _________________

37. What is the longest you’ve ever held a job and where was that?

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

38. Other than John 3:16 write out a verse of Scripture from memory.

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

39. Write out another verse from memory.

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

40. When did you get saved? __________________________

41. Complete the following sentences:

a. If I were to be shot, the last place I would want to be shot is in the _________

b. If I were to be beaten, the last bone I would want to be broken is ___________

c. The one thing I hope this application does not ask is ______________________

d. In the unfortunate event of my untimely death, I would like my ashes scattered

____________________________________________________

e. My greatest fear is _____________________________________

42. What do you want to be if you grow up? _________________________________

43. Where did you get saved? __________________________

44. Have you ever been fingerprinted? Yes ____ No _____

45. What church do you attend? __________________________

46. Are you a member of that church (if not, please give the name of the church you are a member of) Yes ____ No _____

47. What is the longest relationship you’ve ever been in? _____________________

48. How many times have you been baptized? __________________________

49. Did you get baptized before or after you got saved? __________________________

50. What is your pastor’s name? ___________________

51. (Other than playing Call of Duty) List some of your hobbies:

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

___________________________________________________

52. Do you have any identifying marks? (Birthmarks, scars, tattoos etc.) Yes ____ No _____ (if yes please explain and give locations)

53. My dentist is ______________________ City ______________ State _______

I hereby swear that all the information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge.

Signed ____________________________________ Date __/__/____

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 years for processing.

July 23, 2012 Posted by | Guidance, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“Where was God when my boy died?”


A year or two ago a young couple lost their two-month-old son. They had him in bed with them and one of them must have rolled over on him in the night because when they woke up in the morning their beautiful baby boy was dead. A pastor friend of mine and I went over to their house that night. You talk about heartache! The boy’s daddy, a young fella, kept wallowing in the floor saying “God is judging me – God is judging me!” The pastor was trying to show them some scriptures when the mother blurted out: “I just don’t see how there can be a God.”And before you criticize her, you just wait till you wake up beside your dead baby.

I  said “Ma’am my heart goes out to you – I won’t try to say I know what you’re going through because I don’t. But I was reading a story this afternoon about a lady who had lost her baby boy too. She went to her pastor and said “Where was God when my boy died?

He was stunned by the question like we all would be but he thought for a moment and said “Ma’am, God was in the same place He was when His Son died 2000 years ago.” And I’m telling you there’s a God in heaven that knows what it’s like to lose a baby boy. He knows what it’s like to lose a loved one and He can sympathize with your pain.

On top of that, I believe the grace of God takes care of little children and that baby’s in Heaven right now. And if mama and daddy are Christians – they might have to spend 40, 50, or even 60 years apart from their child and I know that sounds like such a long time. But looking back, 10,000 years from now, it won’t seem like that long at all.

November 22, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fags


Fags

“THOU SHALT NOT lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion. Defile not ye yourselves in any of these things: for in all these the nations are defiled which I cast out before you: And the land is defiled: therefore I do visit the iniquity thereof upon it, and the land itself vomiteth out her inhabitants.” Leviticus 18:22-25

asdfawsawseeee

G.A.Y. = "Got AIDS Yet?"

I believe the up and coming generation needs to know, that men of God hold these individuals in derision.  They need to know what a terrible abomination this is in the eyes of God.  I detest being around Sodomites; they make me uncomfortable.  I don’t like Chihuahuas.  I just don’t like anything sissy!

There are many slang terms used to indicate a sodomite: fag, queer, fairy, etc.  Webster’s 1828 Dictionary does not even contain the word ‘Homosexual’.  But it does define Sodomite as: (1) An inhabitant of Sodom or (2) One guilty of sodomy.  Since the term “sodomite” is used, even after Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed, definition one need not be considered.

Furthermore, sodomy is defined as ‘a crime against nature!’   Sodomy not only makes God sick, but Scripture implies that the land vomits at its very presence! “And the land is defiled: therefore I do visit the iniquity thereof upon it, and the land itself vomiteth out her inhabitants.” (Lev 18:25) Is it any wonder that California often convulses as would a man with upset stomach?  Why does the land vomit?  Because sodomy is a crime against nature!

When one attempts to defy the law of gravity by jumping off a cliff, they suffer the consequences.  When two men get together and try to do what only man and wife were designed to do, they too will suffer the consequences.

Whether or not AIDS is God’s judgment on the sin of homosexuality I do not know.  However, I am sure God is aware of the CDC’s recent statistics.  On table 22 of their website the following information is available.  Of white men with AIDS in the United States, it is estimated that 76% were men who have sex with men.  Furthermore, add that to the 10% of men who have sex with men and inject drugs.

In the Bible, we have God’s disclosure of His will.  Within the pages of Scripture we may peer into the mind of an Omnipotent God.  In the Bible we are warned, “Be not deceived!”  Could it be that some well-meaning ‘Christians’ are deceived?  A person is deceived when they see nothing wrong with two men getting married, or two women having sex.  Even with this sinful lifestyle becoming more and more tolerated, God still calls it an ‘abomination’ (Le 20:13).  Nevertheless, “God is not mocked!”

funny_signIs AIDS God’s judgment on the perverts of America?  Probably!  The reality that God has not already rained down fire and brimstone on our darling nation proves that He is a loving God, and not that he condones a tainted standard of living.

Alongside I-85, a billboard advocating tolerance of sodomy says, “Gay or straight…All…equal.” This is of course a reference to the Declaration of Independence.  However, it is interesting to note, they left out ‘created’ equal on their little sign!  While I would partially agree with our founding fathers that all men are created equal, I would argue that all men do not remain that way!

All men are born into sin.  You need not teach a baby to lie, it will learn on its own.  That is natural. Children must be brought up in the nurture and admonition of the lord, because sin comes naturally to all.  When an attractive yet scantily clothed woman walks by, a man’s ‘natural’ instinct is to look and lust after her.  That’s natural, but that doesn’t make it right!  Even if sodomites are ‘born that way,’ and even if they don’t have the slightest affection for the opposite sex; that still does not excuse what God calls an abomination!

Despite arguments to the contrary, the sin of sodomy is far from natural!  As mentioned before, Webster defines sodomy as a ‘crime against nature!’  Romans 1:26 refers to it as “That which is against nature.”  Vs. 27 says it’s an “…Error…” and “…Unseemly…” Vs. 28, Paul said these people “…do those things which are not convenient.” And, finally in Vs. 31 they’re “…without natural affection.”

In 2nd Kings 23:7, the Bible says Josiah “…Brake down the houses of the sodomites, that were by the house of the LORD…” – In Josiah’s time, the Sodomites had come out of the closet and settled down right beside the Church.  And today we see the same thing happening!  Perverts, no longer want merely to be left alone, they want to be accepted.  They’re not concerned with simply being tolerated anymore; they want us to embrace their perverted lifestyle.  I don’t care if they move in beside the parsonage and paint the house pink. I’ll point next door and tell my children, ‘Those people are wicked as Hell!’

You can’t show me a single instance where Jesus ever witnessed to a sodomite or a lesbian.  In all 66 books, God never sent the homosexuals a prophet.   But before you accuse me of being unloving: I have witnessed to several of them before.  I’m just saying that I’m not planning on going into “fag evangelism.”   Can you imagine setting up a rainbow-colored tent at all of the rest areas? I can’t fathom it but I do witness to them.  Have you ever witnessed to one?  By that I mean, have you ever showed them from the Scriptures that they’re at enmity with God and must needs repent or perish?  Have you ever done that for anybody?

November 6, 2009 Posted by | Bible, Death, funny, God, Guidance, humor, Jesus, politics, preacher, Religion, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments