Jaysun's Journal

Independent Baptist

Jokes About Children


Kids

 

 

Homework

“Dad,” said Little Johnny, “I’m late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?”
The father said irately, “Son, it just wouldn’t be right.” “That’s okay,” replied Little Johnny, “but you could at least give it a try, couldn’t you?”

 

Frogs

Frank Pittman told of a conversation he had with his grandson.

Grandson: “Paw Paw, would you make a noise like a frog?”

Grandpa: “Why?

Grandson: “Cause grandma said when you croak we get to go to Disney Land!”

 

Shriners

Son:”Dad, what’s a Shriner?”

Dad:”It’s a drunk Mason son.”

 

An Honest Question

Ada LeMaster of Spartanburg says she and her husband, Jim, laughed until their sides were splitting after receiving a bit of humor from their daughter. “Dear Lord,” the preacher began his sermon, “without you, we are but dust…” He would have continued, but at that moment a very obedient little girl leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill lit­tle girl voice, “Mommy, what is butt dust?” Church was pretty much over at that point.[1]

 

Mom Like Lot’s Wife

The Sunday School teacher was de­scribing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jimmy interrupted. “My Mommy looked back once while she was DRIVING,” he announced trium­phantly, “and she turned into a telephone pole!”

 

You Must Be Proud

Two boys were trying to outdo each other. The first said, “My uncle is a doctor. I can be sick for nothing.” The second youngster said, “Big deal! My uncle is a preacher. I can be good for nothing.”

 

 

Alabama Vasectomy

An Alabama couple, both bona fide rednecks, had 9 children.  They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband ”fixed.’   The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision–why after nine children, would they choose to do this.  The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn’t want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

 

 

Another Preacher’s Kid

The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed again and the congregation approved again. Several years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the increasing expense. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the minister. Finally, the minister stood and shouted out, “Having children is an Act of God!”An older man in the back stood and shouted back, “Rain and snow are Acts of God, too, and we wear rubbers for them!”

 

 

 


[1] The Stroller 3/17/06

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October 27, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , ,

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